Mommy’s Nervous About Kindergarten, too!

Today, my daughter began Kindergarten. For the past several days, she’s expressed the typical fears and nervousness about starting at a new school with a new teacher in a new building with new friends to make and so on…. We talked about her feelings and I tried to help calm her anxiety by pointing out all her amazing qualities, her strengths, the fact that everyone in her class was feeling the same way and by praying with her.

It wasn’t until we were walking (well, I was rolling…) down the hall that I started having my own worries and fears. Kids stared at us and I received the usual range of facial expressions – some children smiled sweetly, others looked at my chair with terror in their eyes and others frowned at me. The ‘peekers’ were there, too – the little kids who slide behind their parent and glimpse out at me shyly. While this is part of my normal, every-day life, it got me thinking about the days ahead for my own little one.

As I got into my van, I wondered if my daughter was in her classroom fielding questions about me. Was she having to explain why I’m in the chair? Was she trying to answer a multitude of questions about our lives instead of playing with the purple play-doh that had been set at her desk? I worried she was spending time advocating for me instead of making friends. Plus, she can get quite loud and vocal since she’s very protective of me: there was an incident at her last school where a boy laughed at a disabled character in a story book and my child screamed at him, “Disabilities are NOT funny!” While this is a trait of hers I’m quite proud of, I don’t want it to distract from her enjoyment or engagement in the classroom, especially a new class.

I know that what makes up our ‘normal’ are the stares, the comments, the whispers, the looks, the questions and what-not. I know none of this is new to either of us. Perhaps I’m worrying for no reason (most likely the case!) but I simply want my daughter to focus on and enjoy her first day of ‘big kid school’ and not have to automatically educate a class full of five-year-olds.

The guilt, the illogical but real guilt is back today. My differences have the ability to make my daughter different. While growing up with a disabled mother has impacted her positively, I worry it can have negative consequences as well. I hope she’ll be treated like any other child by the kids at her new school. I hope kids at this school will be just as easy-going as at her preschool – but these kids are older and this is a new experience for her as well as for me as a mom. Will my daughter be bullied because of me? Will she be shunned?

So, there it is – I’ve got the “First Day of Big Kid School” jitters, too. They’re probably all just us unfounded as my daughter’s fears but they’re real to me just like they’re real to her.

*So, I just picked her up a couple of hours ago and guess what? She had the best first day ever! She made “SIX new best friends” and apparently, none of them asked about her mom’s wheels!! What were we both so worried about??*

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Special (Needs) Delivery!

Pizza Box Delivery Boy Man Concept Knocking at Customer Door Wall Background Retro Cartoon Design Vector Illustration

Credit: iStock.com/Meilun

My daughter and I enjoy going out to eat from time-to-time. There are times, too, when it’s much more convenient or comfortable to stay at home and order food to be delivered. We like pizza, Chinese and there’s a local deli that’s fabulous and offers delivery service. However, after several experiences with delivery drivers over the past year, something’s been swirling around in my busy brain so I’ve decided to write about it. I’m hoping it’s a chance to create an open-dialogue with businesses that offer delivery services about how to make accommodations for people with disabilities. It is often a company’s policy to prohibit their drivers from entering a home while making their deliveries. Having worked for a national pizza-chain, I understand that this is for the drivers’ safety. That being said, I wonder if the policy must be so black-and-white or if a gray area exists?

I’ve lived at my current address for several years and am a ‘regular’ customer of the eateries around my neighborhood. When ordering online, I write on my ticket “Disabled – may need help bringing food inside. Thank you!” When I call in an order, I ask that a note be made using nearly that exact wording. Yet, upon arrival with my food, I’ve had drivers tell me they can’t come in; it’s against the rules. Now, please picture me opening the door either using my cane with a wide foot-base or my power chair and perhaps you’ll see the gray area. I’m obviously not a threat to them and my appearance matches the comment on my ticket. Because of my balance issues, I’m only able to carry one thing into the kitchen at a time. This can take a couple of minutes because we usually have more than one box or we’ve also ordered drinks. Twice, I’ve had drivers tell me they’re “in a hurry, ma’am” or “have other deliveries waiting.” THAT’S a tad irritating because I’ve asked for help, it’s been declined so I’m doing the best I can do.

Let me make it clear that I’m not asking for special privileges due to my disability. I’m asking that the same accommodations that are made when I’m dining in a particular food establishment be made when I’m ordering in from that same business. I also understand that rules are rules yet I’m arguing that there are circumstances in life which can alter the necessity or validity of rules.

I’d like to make a suggestion to businesses that offer delivery services: Please notice the gray areas. There’s typically a section called “Special Instructions” customers can fill out when placing online orders – please make the necessary modifications or stretch the rules a bit in order to meet the needs of your customers with special needs. Just as the ADA grants those of us with disabilities the right to utilize and enjoy your restaurant while dining-in, please grant us the ability to do likewise when you’re bringing your services into our homes.

 

Within Reach…

What do we do when neither she nor I can reach something?? Work together because everything is always within reach when love stretches the possibilities! The only thing that’ll hold us back is US! We make a great team!

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