Recently, I’ve been dealing with the decline of my body. Physically, I’m in an exorbitant amount of pain in my lower body; have had a decrease in the amount of time I am able to spend standing or walking; and have had increased difficulty walking & moving about in general. Emotionally, I’ve experienced frustration, self-pity, sadness, worry, stress and feelings of being unprepared for the changes which I’ve felt have been sprung upon me quite suddenly and much sooner than I expected (completely ignoring the fact that no doctor or specialist has been able to give me a time-frame for my prognosis; I simply feel “too young” for the deterioration I’ve known for years has been coming).
However, I can not let my insides match my outsides. As my physical condition worsens, my internal condition must strengthen. I can’t sit in the negative feelings. I must find gratitude and joy in order to continue on. As my body regresses, my emotions, mentality and spirit must progress. So, I let out the tears and talk out the feelings and then pick myself up, reminding myself that I still CAN walk even if it’s not as much as I used to be able to or as much as I’d like at present. I must be thankful for the abilities I DO have instead of focusing on my limitations.
My body is broken, but my soul is full, whole and healthy!!